Tuesday, November 20, 2007

. . . some room/air to breathe . . .

assalamualaikum,

how good r u all in anger management? how many times have u burst out in madness when d switch is turned on? have u ever been so mad that u just wanna punch sum1 straight right in d face?

i know i have... lots of times. but its kinda rare though... i'd stay mad for a while (depends on d degree on insult that is thrown at me)

apparently a while ago my big mouth suddenly became profane n loud... gosh, i was swelling with anger. d victim was my cousin which i have mingled all my life. shes like a sister to me already. i just dunno what got into me.

i think d real reason was my big toe. its been hurting for sumtym now n m guessin it must be gout coz d symptoms r correct (as far as i've researched). most of d time, f i'm sick or hurt in someway, it always gets on my nerves. mom s usually d first to receive my offensive blows. m sorry mom...

hmmm... its been 23 days since dad has been admitted in d hospital. after being a bit patient for quite sumtym, he finally got out n m quite relieved too.

he heard about me blasting my cousin that other day n gave me a bit of advice (more like a lecture on conciousness) told me to keep family relations intact n never let my anger get into me. hmph, easy for em to say... i felt a bit mad at what he told me. feeling that noone trusts me anymore, i left with my head down n silence.

i dunno where i went wrong. i feel that m doing d right thing... but my rights r always wronged... life sucks, but somehow i just gotta get thru it...

wassalam

Thursday, November 8, 2007

. . . rough times ahead . . .

assalamualaikum

its worse enough that i'm gonna leave the country within d next two months n havin not prepared anythin at all... then comes poor old dad.

i had to take em over to d emergency cause he was havin a really bad fever. the worse i've seen in my entire life.

once d doctors suspected that he was havin hepatitis, my life seemed to break down all at once. i mean, is this reality? why now of all times?...

for d first time ever, i'm scared of being alone. even mum was deeply saddened...

i dunno wat else to say except praying that Allah The Almighty will cure dad of his illness...

wassalam