. . . in my mind . . .

assalamualaikum

hm... 2009 started without me even realising it that much n now its already middle of january. wow. time flies by so fast. i think i didnt start the year quite well so i'm predicting that this year would be a hard one to cope with. but no worries. Allah SWT is always around n i can always count on HIM through my light n dark.

last week was a really busy time. that week itself was enough to burn down my precious fat to its very essentials. not a lot but i could feel myself getting a bit old n weary. but for one fact that i'm proud of, i went thru it thoroughly. minor probs n big rewards in experience n durability. i could say this is the best job n time of my life. beats the rest of my work that i went through except the work with the media a few years ago. i miss doing that. did i mention i'm getting a hang of being a chocolatier as well? by God's name, if i see another chocolate bar i'd be puking to death. not that i ate em all. thing is... of all the 23 chocolates (thats only one brand btw...) i've only tasted like 2-3 of em.

people keep going up to me n asking me lots of questions on chocolate as if i was Willy Wonka or something. no, i dont know, eff no. all i do is, see the package of chocolate n if my mind n stomach grumbles on it, then its good. hehehe... but anyway, chocs in Switz, in general are all good. if u fancy trying the Noirs, thats fine. it quite good but dont go for the 35-75-85-99% noir cacaos unless u wana look like jim carrey on a bad day. whatever tickles ur fancy. i usually go pins n needles over those with almonds, noisettes, caramel... up until today i tink i've bought (not my own money of course) up to 5k worth of money. frankly, 1k is enuf to break ones back (n also raise ur blood sugar) to kingdom come. that aside, Switzerland still holds the title of a great place to purchase such lovely sweet stuff. the packages too r really interesting however one needs to refer the ingredients since some can contain some of the no-nos stuff eg. alcohol, ethanol etc.

i've spent quite a lot these past few weeks ever since i got the bonus. well, nothing is new on that. i bet my two balls that everyone has gone thru it. but i'm quite satisfied of it. i got this one leather jacket (thanks to two women who i really appreciate n cares for my style presentation) which i paid with my teeth gritting like hell. but after a few days, i'm really into it n frankly, spending to much on an item is particularly good. an investment for life. and until when do u think u wanna be a cheapskate? me? i dont think so. there r times that i think that money doesnt solve anything n whats the use of keeping it until u die? it would most probably be handed to another. just remember: spend wisely.

people? hm. after one year of observing, i've seen n known a lot. i dont judge them. no way in hell. but most of them stand out of the crowd when their act start up. tsk tsk tsk. how low or mighty high can u go? i dont understand them much but enuf to understand how they are. for all i know, if i wanna be treated right, so do others. but the nagging n bossing around... it worse already that they dont say thank you most of the time, giving u that sly look. god. i wish i could have a portable sledgehammer handy... wonder if the swiss knives has one?... i love being alone most of the time. in fact, m all alone since the very start. but its such a bliss. no harm can come onto u. i heard P!nk said she doenst want to be the one who feels the silence... the quiet scares her coz it spills out the truth. i love silence. n i love the truth. enuf said on that.

however i do like the other sentence: i'm safe, up high, nothing can touch me. beautiful n true. if only i had wings then my name of Saint would be perfect. wow, thats deep. hahaahaha... how serious i can be, i dont know even myself *snap* back to reality...

the cold has been devastating these past few weeks. the roads are all frozen (i keep slipping n sliding)... i come from a tropical region. this doesnt suit me very well. but with the new jacket, i'm all ok. my nintendo ds has been laid to rest for a while coz its starting to become less attractive after knowing some of my friends who have big ass tvs. shit. i need to get one too. but i dont have a big apartment yet. i'm setting my eyes (n money) to a bigger one by this year alone. the french language has already been stuck deep in my head so no big problems on that part... yet. its true, u gotta have a friend who actually french n speaks a little english. then u could start to communicate. of course u'll be like talking to a duck but then again, after a bit time, u'll be quacking urself.

a game room. i need that. one whole room full of gadgets. i wish i had that. not one of those pimp my crib tpe of shit. no. i just need a simple game room.that will be my future conquest. back in brunei, i had no idea on it but after living here for quite a while, i think it would be damn possible. hell yeah. i would probably become a distant cousin of a panda bear from all those sleepless nights, but i dont care. m having fun. what can u say about that?

speaking of sleep. i havent got much since last week. mornings r not as usualy. i used to wake up so effing early. by 4am even. now, 7am is my 4am. oh god. gotta get back to basics. its killing me. speaking fo which... i think i will continue this another day... need a power nap. ahahhaha...zzz....

continuation...

then theres the part about apartments. i'm so annoyed n effed up from the fact 2 of my friends has their own apartment, bigger as well. arrghh! i feel like going to each regies (housing agents) n choke their necks to its bare essentials. damnit. well, not that i complain that my place is bad. it suits me as a single boy :) anyway, i still need to look for something bigger n better so i could put my life into it. i'm setting my sights for an extra 2 or 3 pieces apartment at the moment n most probably be commencing it by this mid year, hopefully. i think that i might just be able to get one this year. confidence is key and so is patience *toughen up n flexing muscles* oh did i mention i started lifting dumbells? well its not such a big thing but yeah, i gotta shapen up. this winter i've been eating tons n tons of food. i think i'm so heavy, i might shake the ground with every step i make. but its good as it shows the presence of greatness! haha!

my schedule has been full ever since last week and the week before. i'm quite sad though that i could not attend this saturday's airsoft match but a promise is a promise. i need some extra time on my own next time. but alhamdulillah i managed to have one last saturday which was a total bliss. i was smiling from one end on my cute face to to another end. how good life can be n how it can flush down to hell in a few moments, only God knows. but its all good. going thru shit in life alone is the best thing that i've ever done. independence is one thing that u should have before u exhale ur last breath.

i think i need a body check up as well. a handful of people knows what i'm talking about. one thing for sure is that i've lost a lot since november. m getting scared of it but so far i havent had any symptoms of bad effects. every part of me is working just fine and dandy. but there also part about body grooming which i just loathe but have to do it most of the time. shaving. God. anyone who has a beard has got to agree with me. it grows on u in seconds. early morning i trimmed my beard then back at night, its already started to grow! good thing i bought that electric shaver. saves my life a bit. razors are good but they take time n i dont have a lot to spare (coz i need it for eating n sleepin n watching tv as well... hehe).

do you think watching spongebob squarepants in ur extra time is weird? i dont think so. i dont understand most people why they dont wanna watch it. i bet u will laugh the moment u seen one episode of it. i know i did. n dont go ranting on that i look like patrick starfish n hell no i'm not gonna put off my glasses for ya if u wana prove ur point. he does not look like me. one of these days i'm gonna post a pic of him n me together n i'll prove to u that he isnt the same as i look right now. dumb, yes, maybe. lagging, of course. funny, hell yeah. lookalike? no way jose.

wassalam