. . . being sick . . .

assalamualaikum

it totally sucks. your head is always twisted in so many ways. your unanswered questions start the very first time as your head swings, or to be exact, cracks your skull at the most precise time that you need your brain to function, who actually started it? but you know you can't point your fingers wildly. its just your time to get sick.

your brain seems to be loose inside your skull. you can literally hear it bumping the sides of your skull every time you shake your head. kind of like a small ping pong ball bouncing around in a huge metal barrel. clearly you can hear your head ringing. not like the ring of a handphone, but more like the ring of a bell.

then your eyesight effs up. you tend to focus on to the unfocused. the moment you pull yourself out of bed, you just want to crash back down on your pillow. not that it will comfort you in any way. it just feels right to lay down and do nothing and pray to god that it would go away soon. except it does not. it keeps drilling its way through your very head.

the worst of which (pick your choice) having coughs or your nose extremely blocked. both i do not have affection nor love for it.

for me it began with the cough. let me begin with the cough. i swear i saw my lungs and heart jump out every single time i coughed. i coughed so hard, i severely wished that my lungs and heart would just go out literally to end my misery. seems that the very meat of me is tough, hence it still stays in till this very moment. my chest hurts. my stomach muscles just flipped out (nearly made me excrete instantaneously) it hurt. very much. ever had a gut cramp? multiply it by a ten fold and double it. thats the way it is. if a cough was i a person, i would personally choke him or her. which ever gender it may choose.

now, in addition to the cough, was the dizziness. its amazing to know that it goes away for a single second that you cough but comes back the single second you stop coughing.

you can never sleep with a cough. one thing i am grateful of a cough is that it keeps me awake and also wakes me up quite early in the morning.

you certainly won't eat a single crumb. funny fact, you always eff up your diet when you really try to lose weight. but it always work very well when you are sick. i could just say a straight no (even without a person nearly completing the question) to a thick juicy medium-rare roast steak laced with a thick spicy mushroom sauce accompanied with garlic infused buttery mashed potatoes with a sprinkle of freshly fine-chopped parsley and roughly crushed black pepper alongside a colorful ample portion of green vegetables. how the mind really concentrates when one really puts their minds into it. praise Allah, amen.

i hate the cough. the next thing that comes close to it is when my nostrils are blocked. its like two bricks stuffed inside your nostrils. two bricks fully cemented with fast drying cement. totally not porous. no molecule of air can penetrate it. nothing. all you sniff is nothing. you can literally drink skunk piss and it would go through like water (not that i recommend you to do so unless you are one of the members of Jackass... i love them. especially when they experiment on papercuts on their lips).

i've done it before, i did it again. when you get both holes stuffed with mucus, lay down on one side. let it move down to the next nostril, so that you would have the other open. it really works. very helpful but really wont help you in sleeping. but then again, you won't get a chance to sleep so might as well make yourself comfortable in breathing. you would certainly be comfortable...

until the time comes when it dries up. then you have to work yourself to clean the caves from the dried mucus you spent the night with. apparently it the most fun thing i look forward to. particularly a ver big challenge. not all of them are dry. they come it several forms. okay so far i see (and feel) three types. dry. semi dry. and wet (to be exact like agar). the colors varies or would depend on the person itself. personally i never fail on lightly old green. works every time. for the sake of humanity, i wont describe the saltiness of the taste.

i want to continue on being lifeless and tired. but its not a new thing to me. i am always like that on weekends. lifeless with a dash of hopelessness. or in short, nothing. or probably you all are already barfing after the previous paragraph.

but at this very moment, i am okay. i feel fine. except for waiting for the mucus to dry off...

wassalam