. . . challenging days ahead . . .

assalamualaikum

what the challenge really is? frankly i don't know. at this moment of time i have that feeling right behind my temple, at the corner of my brain, the tingle at the end of my colon... something is going to need proper attention. it is true what the saying says... with great benefits of rewards in life comes more tests of life endurance (i created that, i know it sounds all too familiar but hey, i spent a gap of 10 minutes of silence to make such sentence). i am still figuring out what i'm actually worried about. its funny to know what i don't actually know... figuring out what i don't know most of the time... not knowing what to actually know. not knowing anything can seriously damage my knowledge... hmmm... so basically its like that. my thinking is just an infinite loop. i am clueless to what i don't know and its a really pain to me since i want to know lots of things. yes, with you reading my nonsense which doesn't make any sense isn't that different to what state of mind i am in right now... i simply don't know.

Istanbul (Turkey) was amazing. yes i changed the subject rather quick. after painfully waiting for the right time and the sufficient funds, i finally took the opportunity to travel and meet my amazing friends, Emrah Gurkan and Suzan Yurdacan. i haven't seen them for years but maintained contact with them whenever i can. they pushed me time and time again to spare some time and visit. its was sad to know that i could only meet Emrah on the last day while the rest of the days were spent with Suzan touring Istanbul. i have yet to tour the rest of Istanbul in my future visit most probably with my lovely missus who is also dying to travel.

Suzan and myself on a tour boat around the Bosphorus

I am definitely proud to say i spent most of my tours on foot rather than being on transport(s). truthfully i find that traveling on foot is the best way to sightsee another country. no i am not saying one should walk all the way to Turkey. stop being a smartass.

I was planning to do a culinary adventure by sampling all the local delicacies but i found myself overwhelmed by the sheer amount of food they have. and that was just the first day. i've already posted all of the pictures on my Facebook. so here, i will just post a video that i meant to post a while ago...

basically a small reminder to my friends and family especially Mama Bear that Istanbul is quite a remarkable place to visit...

After my travels, it was basically back to boring harsh daily living in Geneva. we've had several days of absolutely crazy cold and burst of hot weather. but i can tell you that today, it was freaking hot. yes summer is finally here to lay its strong sunshine on my very easy to melt skin. not to mention that i tan easily.

oh and also on this post, i would also want to relay my shout out to the dearest Noramali Dato Jumat who went back to Brunei last early May after finishing her posting in Geneva for 3 years. it has been an amazing and fruitful endeavor to have met such a lovely lady as her. Although i do not know whether she will eventually read this or not, i'd just like to thank you for teaching me and being the sweetest friend anyone can possibly have. i know we will meet again sometime in the future, insyallah. Best of luck to you to whatever path you take on the next prosperous years, amin.

the Zumba Guru at his best :)

and i will try my best to maintain the Green Bee. yes my friends, the Saint has owned a set of wheels. i don't know yet what i'm going to do with it or if i will be more mobile in the next coming days but i'll let you know.

For now, i have yet to refresh the car to a state where i see fit for it to last another few more years. its just damning to know that having a car in this country does get on my nerves at times. road rules... insurance... maintenance... and more. Insyallah with Gods' blessing grace, i will register it on the 1st of June at the Bureau des Auto so it can officially cruise through the streets of Geneva as well as the while of Switzerland. i haven't thought of a road trip plan but... of course, in due time you will eventually know.

Calorie counting. in a word, is fascinating. in another, devastating. and more, can only bring you happiness if you skillfully and take discipline on doing it properly as you can. since the beginning of 2012, my culinary skills and food intake has gone plummeting down the drain. it seems my desire to become a pro cook has gone bust. that cheffy feel isn't there anymore. it has affected me in some non-lethal ways. from the way eat to the way i poop. in short, everything is so irregular. i find myself stuffing my face so much that it was so painful to be full, and sometimes starving myself to the point that i shiver as if i am trapped in a fridge when in actuality its 30 degrees Celsius outside.

i've recently begun on calorie counting and quite frankly it sort of works when one needs to lower down weight. i've managed to lose 2 kilos in a matter of a week (but gained it all back in just a mere 2 days). i haven't fully mastered the discipline of maintaining what i eat plus i rarely exercise. from time to time i would walk for a couple of hours to burn all the calories but yet the counts are still erratic. but still, to those who really want to lose weight, try out calorie counting. i love the fact that i don't have to avoid all the food that i want to eat and still lose weight... i just hate it when i lose count or forget to count. its in us Bruneians... where there is food, there will be us. especially when its free.

this also has an affect to my fashion habits. i am seriously a fashion terrorist. i don't deny that. my thoughts before on fashion was just Eff It all. if i feel comfy in it, i am happy. but ever since i took calorie counts into my life, fashion has made me worried on my daily looks. i suddenly have this feeling of being so fat. it disgusts me. it never bothered me before but nowadays it does. i start being picky on what to wear or how others would look at me. to be truthful, i don't have that much of a wardrobe. my daily clothes are actually a recycle of what i wore the week before. i am not colorblind yet i fail mostly on matching colors. i can never go far from using Black and White. but lately i've been brave to experiment with other colors.

i've never wanted a muscular body not a bulging tummy. i just want to be presentable and appeal to the public. this year is also an erratic change of my fashion behavior... i even started to buy clothes online (its a miss and go actually. 70% of the time i get an exact fit whether it be shoes or clothes... so i would not dismiss nor agree if it is best to buy clothes online).

then theres shoes to think about. i absolutely love sneakers. no doubt in my mind. i wear them to work and play. i find them amazing a durable and multitasking. i even had the idea to get one of those high-tops but Alhamdulillah, i have in my righteous mind that i dont want to become a fat Bieber. yes i hate him. personal preference is what its called. to those who oppose or want to murder me for hating a successful far-from-puberty girl, i give you my thumb, index and middle finger. actually, read between the lines and concentrate on the middle finger.

i effing love Apple and hate it at the same time. it has bring hateful joy in my life that i lovingly hate to this very day. now that my Macbook battery is at its full cycle of working poorly, soon i have to scrounge up every penny i have to buy that 129 francs battery. i have yet to look forward to buying an iMac as well as that Alienware Andromeda that i've been eyeing since early May... the funny thing is, both will eventually be too damn expensive and become old systems in the next few months, yet i still want to have them. i think i am beginning to be a hoarder of stuff... an early stage.

but for those of us who have average finance (i wont say poor. nobody is poor. its either you have less money or don't want to work) it is absolutely hard (not impossible) to get the things we want in life in one go. i've learned my lesson of decimating my entire month salary in just a mere 3 days. yes it isn't that bad compared to others but it is for me. i remember it well enough to know that i will not do such a thing ever again.

i guess i finally solved what i don't know. its proper planning. be it life, health or money wise. hmmm... blogging does have its quirks, eh?

wassalam