Monday, September 28, 2009

. . . syawal & bbq . . .


ok i do say that my syawal wasnt that bad at all. apart from missing important figures of my life, i am very well occupied with the lovely people that work and have fun with, my friends and my family in Geneva :)

i do apologize for putting it up late coz i've been particularly busy replacing Karsay on is on a sick leave. hopefully he will be back and fully healthy by this week, amen. but i gotta say, i really love driving and going around.

after a long delay (sorry) i dedicate this post to Mali and her gorgeously wonderful family who had offered us food (YAY!) on the first day of Syawal. her mom is absolutely the best (as to every moms i meet, of course, by far they dont compare to my own lovely mother :) however, all my intentions and verbal expressions come straight from the heart. each woman who is a mother, shall never be left behind without being acknowledged by me!)

anyway, Mali's mom, fantastic! the food was awesome. you could visualize my face like the picture below when i saw the glorious food...

ok i didnt really look like that. i am much cuter and better looking. way off. totally. ok i'll stop. but seriously i look better. ok ok. onwards...

courtesy of 3G (i stole it off from him as usual) pictures of Mali's open house. and to all of them, the wonderful family, i thank you and pray for the best to all of you, amen! oh and keep in mind i am always available when food is around! ah, i mean, to help as well :)

The Bruneian Family in Geneva :)

onwards... again, food does not stop there. just slightly after a week, Ambassador Erih invited us over to the Brunei Residence for a barbeque!!! (double YAY!) yes i am very eccentric when it comes to food. and i am darn proud of it. and as the usual tradition goes, yours truly automatically manned the barbeque. yes sirs and madams, i do my utmost to help when it comes to cooking and eating (well, i'd do more damage on eating if i'm not doing anything so since i didnt want to look like a hog, i took over the bbq pit).

now i want to say this. frankly, the bbq wouldnt be a success without Madam Jacqueline as she prepared the best lambchops and chicken that i have ever tasted so far. but i am sad to say that despite of me manning the bbq pit, i missed out on a lot of dishes. i swore i saw something like a cottage pie. urgh. but no worries, i'm sure there would be another time *hint hint* in a near future... we had a great session together with the colleagues as well as some guests, Mali's wonderful parents!

i do confess i burnt the first batch, but alhamdulillah everyone seemed to enjoy it. its pretty normal i guess since most of us would mistake the heat on the early stages of the bbq. i really enjoyed my afternoon-evening yesterday. i really do hope we could have another soon since winter is just a few blocks away. the summer remnants are slowly pulling away, and so shall the cold start shivering my fragile ba... ok i'll stop here.


Sunday, September 20, 2009

. . . silent syawal . . .


all i hear is myself. the takbir sounds so empty when i say it out loud, only hoping that the heavens hear my cries of celebration.

ramadhan just went by and i didnt even notice it. as i received the sms text saying that tomorrow is syawal, i just remained silent. its used to be like, oh yeahhhhh! i can eat again!!! or happily distressed of buying last minute munchies for the first day of syawal. but frankly... i dont have such feeling anyway... not anymore.

this is the second syawal i celebrate alone. of all this time i wished i couldve gone back to Brunei, i wished i couldve gone back now. during this time instead of June 09. either way, i would still be happy. and its already done. i cant go so frequently.

again, old feelings come back to haunt me. causing me much sadness as i type right now. i just dont know what to do. i do feel happy and all but theres always some pieces missing. important pieces that make my life complete.

i'll shove that aside now. back to my native language. for those who dont understand, just pitch in my celebration of Syawal.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri, kepada sekalian umat muslimin dan muslimat dimana jua biskita berada. Ramadhan telah pergi meninggali kita lagi sekali. harapan dan doaku agar kita akan ditemukan kembali utk merebut peluang untuk menghargai pemberian Maha Berkuasa. namun begitu, adalah lebih baik kita mengingati dan menghargainya setiap masa dan setiap waktu. hatiku berbisik kecil, mengatakan mungkin Ramadhan tahun ini tidak begitu sempurna dari segi diriku yang serba kekurangan, lalu meminta ampun kepada-NYA dengan doa dan niat suci akan diberi peluang untuk memperbaikinya lagi sekali.

di kesempatan ini juga, saya sebagai insan biasa yang mencari redha-NYA, ingin memohon ampun dan maaf kepada semua, terutama kepada yg dikasihi, ibu dan ayah yang tidak hadir didepan mata namun sentiasa hadir dihati yang kecilku, yang tidak pernah luntur semangat menyayangi. hati kecilku tidak pernah berhenti berdoa akan redha dan keselamatan diberi dari-NYA utk mereka berdua.

dihati kecilku juga, masih tertulis, tiada harta sehebat kedua ibubapa.

dihati kecilku juga tidak berhenti berdoa agar impian mencium tangan mereka, memeluk dengan penuh kasih sayang... dan juga kebahagiaan ditahap yang teratas melebihi 7 petala langit.

dihati kecilku juga, mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.


ps. mama bear, forgive me for not being there with you to celebrate syawal. i love you too, best regards to ur family :) selamat hari raya sweetheart, maafkan ku atas ketidaksempurnaan ku ini and i hope you could give me the chance to make things far more better than before, insyallah, amin!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

. . . going hyper . . .


a real surprise when u got energy boosted up in the middle of the night. i seriously got to get rid this Red Bull addiction (i found another energy booster: turkish coffee, trust me. it'll get you goin on and on and on... and so on and so forth and on).

i find myself amazed as well as dazed at how clean my room is. i havent slept the whole day, its usually right off to bed after work till an hour or so before breaking fast. however, i have been really productive today. so much so i am awed at the fact that i could pull all this up in just half a day.

cleaning my room would usually take a hefty time (by that i mean a very long time... okay, a week) it started out with a small speck of dust... then i moved over to my mound of laundry that was as high as Everest. cold and there... with the stinking visual effects. so horrible that it not even a fly would dare to cross over. yeah, i am dirty. off i went doing the laundry. and i even walked up and down the stairs coz the lift was occupied most of the time. and in between i even had time to prep food for breaking fast.

after eating (and several cans of Red Bull) i started to rocket off. i felt like a human bunny rabbit, only bigger and stronger (oh yeah). cooking and cleaning up, done. laundry, done. and the best part of all, folding up my clothes. as of the first t-shirt i folded, i heard applause (its the Red Bull effect, definitely). suddenly i went berserk. i even folded up my undies! how fantastic (and pathetic) is that???

my room looked huge. i remember a familiar voice in my head... 'its like your front lawn. you mow it up and it looks bigger!'. i could do summersaults without hesitation. heck, even fit a Mini Cooper with the Big Fat Bastard standing outside.

and now i cant sleep. i've surfed every corner of the internet. yes, every corner. the one that your thinking as well. yes, i am human after all.

and in the moment of insanity, i remembered home. i remembered how my small family would spend the whole night prepping for the end of Ramadhan and the beginning of Syawal. i just realized that this would be the second Syawal i celebrate alone. i dont hear any fireworks cracking. i dont hear kids shouting and singing annoying Hari Raya songs. worse of all, i dont see my parents as well as my other half... i am still alone. just me, my Spongebob and Doraemon pillow close by my side. so what? can't i have my own little bundle of joy?

turned my tv off as well as the lights, traced back to my bed and started to lie down but hesitated and continued to walk to my window. standing near the window, under a vague light of the moon surrounded by the darkness of nothingess, i looked out to the apartment buildings nearby. a few lights still turned on. the sound of the tram rumbling by. small dark figures walking pass by on the streets withe their dogs barking happily by their side. a slight breeze of the cold autumn night wind slowly started gently caressing my face. in the moment of small insanity, i started to feel what i tried not feel for quite a while. missing everyone back in Brunei. i love you all. i miss you all terribly. Allah bless you all... thats the only largely small effort that i could do when everyone is out of reach. stretched out my hand and slowly bringing it up to my face, i started picking my nose and decided to blog again. hm? did the nose picking spoiled such good composition? i doubt it. you all approve of it since all of you are smiling. keep smiling. coz i am. Allah bless you too.


Saturday, September 12, 2009

. . . wrath is a vice . . .

Wrath (Latin, ira), also known as anger or "rage", may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, both to others and in the form of self-denial, impatience with the procedure of law, and the desire to seek revenge outside of the workings of the justice system (such as engaging in vigilantism) and generally wishing to do evil or harm to others. The transgressions born of vengeance are among the most serious, including murder, assault, and in extreme cases, genocide. Wrath is the only sin not necessarily associated with selfishness or self-interest (although one can of course be wrathful for selfish reasons, such as jealousy, closely related to the sin of envy). Dante described vengeance as "love of justice perverted to revengeand spite". In its original form, the sin of wrath also encompassed anger pointed internally rather than externally. Thus suicide was deemed as the ultimate, albeit tragic, expression of wrath directed inwardly, a final rejection of God's gifts...

taken from wikipedia... search 7 deadly sins.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

. . . meet the kids . . .


shudda done this a long time ago but i had to wait a little for mum to send me the pictures... thanks mom! i love you!

anyway, back to my post... after longs months of waiting, finally Abdul Rahim now has some new fellas to play with! introducing... Abdul Raham and Abdul Rahum!!! horrraaaayyyy!!! two more boys to look forward for when i get back home. i guess it would be (already is) much work for mum and dad.

Abdul Raham and Abdul Rahum

both were born on the 1st day of Ramadhan, 22nd August. hold on, the best part of all, mom and dad even timed their birth... ahahaha! according to mum's report, Raham was born just 2 minutes (1307hrs) before Rahum came out (1309hrs). aren't we the most interesting people in the world? :) i love my family...

according to mum, both are beginning to get nawtee as the day progresses. there is no doubt that i'll have to increase my awareness of looking around just in case any one of them are putting a bulls-eye on my behind...


Thursday, September 3, 2009

. . . singing in the rain . . .


i absolutely positively love it when it rains. i find it highly calming to walk in the rain. if only i had the chance to walk through it without an umbrella. theres an overwhelming feeling about it apart from getting a slight cold from it but somehow i dont really care about that.

unfortunately with these work clothes on, i have to remain dry... have you ever walked in the rain? try it out. its awesome. well, i know some can't *ehem*mama bear*ehem (^^,)

one best moment of my life when i was back in Brunei last June was working with dad during the heavy rain. we had to lift up the planks from the drains to prevent it being carried away by the strong currents. it was great. even mom was standing around watching us without an umbrella. from that moment on, i loved them more. coz from there i saw it is true, no matter sun nor rain, nothing will ever cut our bond as a family. i love my family. i miss them so much.

i thought of that when i was walking towards the office. as i walked along the path onto the bridge, i looked forward to whatever may come in front of me. the slight nibbling on the cheeks (not there. face.) of the cold rain as it began splattering all around me as i passed the bridge. cars racing fast here and there. yet i felt the calmness of the rain enveloping my whole body comforting every nerves and senses. in that very moment, i do what i do best in (apart from doing nothing)... i thanked Allah and gave my sincere smile to the world. come on world, either you go against (which i dont care and will take you head on) or smile with me. oh you're smiling too eh? thank you. Allah bless you always.

i do have one annoying problem though. my hair. without the hair gel (which i hate putting on most of the time coz it makes my scalp itchy) my hair looks like Johnny Bravo gone wrong... urgh... oOOoo, Mama! :P i'm just thankful that i'm not as dumb as him... or am i? hehehe...